Joanne asks:
Periodically a friend asks me to take care of his child for him. The kid and I usually go do some activity since my apartment really isn't set up for a 5 year old. Here's the problem... he rarely gives me cash to pay for the kid's activity. And I suppose either I feel petty or uncomfortable saying, hey this is going to cost x pony up. This has been going on for awhile, I never said anything originally because it wasn't happening that often (less than once a month), but lately I've been doing it more and it's getting expensive. Sunday I hung out with the kid for over 6 hours. I fed him two meals, which my friend knew, and he offered me no reimbursement. So I guess my question isn't that I have to say something, clearly I do, but more how to say it?
Based on my knowledge of you and this friend, I know that your friend is aware of how your financial situation compares to his. I also know that he isn't always sensitive to it. My advice is to be direct with him.
I would reiterate how much you enjoy spending time with his kid but that since your apartment isn't a great place for kids, and since you are watching him more often lately, taking the kid out every time is creating a bit of a financial pinch for you. Ask your friend how he would like to handle it and give him two options: he can send the kid with cash, or you can let your friend know how much you spent at the end of the day. The problem with the first option is what to do if he doesn't send enough cash. If he does prefer that route, then I would be clear about what your plans are for the day and how much you expect it to cost.
Your friend has been a parent for long enough to know that he is making out like a bandit by not having to pay a sitter $50+ just to sit in his living room for a few hours with the kid. He should be willing to at least reimburse you for expenses. If he isn't, I suggest you start saying no to his requests for babysitting, or plop the kid down on your messy couch with the Nintendo DS and feed him gluten-free crackers, cheese, and Pepsi.
